the journalling practice that's helping me change my relationship with stressš¤
+ summer sweetness š in a busy world
Hello my lovesā¤ļø! How has July been unfolding for you?
These are three little things that Iāve been loving lately:
š§ŗIn between study sessions the past few weeks, Iāve been loving the art of decluttering, making space both figuratively in my mind, and literally in my physical home. I find itās helped me stay calm, feel like Iām in control in at least one area of my life, and is a great way to give my eyes rest from reading and writing!
šThough speaking of reading, Iāve also started re-reading all of my plays that I bought over the past two decade at one of my all-time favourite bookstores: The Drama Bookshop in New York City. In this decluttering, Iām only holding onto my absolute favourite plays that I know Iāll read over and over! Every time I reach for my stacks of plays, it takes me back to my days living as a theatre student in the Big Apple, where every time I stepped outside my apartment it felt like I was living in a movieš„°.
š Also, my partner has somehow mastered the impossible art of choosing a perfect watermelon! Everyday weāve been savouring the crunch and slurp of these sweet giantsā¦and on those suuuper hot days, itās not uncommon that we finish an entire one in an afternoon! Along with his new japchae and salsa verde recipes, summerās never tasted so goodš.
I think Iāve appreciated these little things even more because Stress (with a capital S!) found me again this semester.
As mentioned in my last post, itās my first semester back at school in years, so I apologize for the unexpected hiatus in getting this letter to you!
Iāve been learning more than ever that an awesome life doesnāt mean being completely stress-free, but it does mean knowing when to swallow my pride and recognize my limitations.
Itās super humbling. My body canāt handle all-nighters studying like I could in my teens and 20s, nor can it justify an A+ over the sleep and exercise it needs to stay physically and mentally healthy.
And even when I think Iām doing everything ārightā, I still manage to get sick sometimes, and with my auto-immune disease (and possibly getting older), it takes me so much longer to heal!
Itās not easy to realize I canāt accomplish as much as Iād like to (or used to). And in the weak moments, old habitual emotions come back: guilt for canceling plans, disappointment that I didnāt ace an assignment, and impatience that my body is so sensitive. It all just adds to the stress!
Rationally, I know that these emotions are probably harming my nervous system more than helping it, but sometimes they feel out of my control. However, Iāve been getting a lot better at listening when my body is telling me āSTOP!ā
Is your body telling you that thereās a particular stressor in your life that you should pay attention to, too?
Even transitioning from messages, to notifications, to news alerts, to bank statements, to comparing our lives to others in a matter of seconds is enough to produce excess cortisol (the primary stress hormone) in our bodies.
The human body hasnāt evolved nearly as fast as the world around us has. Who wouldnāt be stressed by these day-to-day things weāve accepted as ānormalā?
But just because something is normal, it doesnāt mean that itās the only way of doing something. If youāre ready to change your lifestyle, one little step at a time, hereās the journalling practice thatās been helping me change my relationship with stress!
āš» Go on a dreamy date with you, your favourite journal, and a nice pen. Maybe add a candle, maybe go to your favourite coffee shopā¦and then letās begin with some little observationsā¦
Step 1: Brain dump all the things that are stressing you out. Donāt hold back. Get it out of your body!
Step 2: Now, did you know there are 5 common daily stressors? Notice if your brain dump has a common theme with any one in particular:
Too much to do!
Uncertainty!
Perfectionism!
Social Conflicts!
Feeling trapped!
Maybe you experience all of these, and thatās okay. Maybe your common one isnāt even on this list. Thatās good to be aware of too! Just try to see if thereās one or two that occur more often than the others.
Step 3: Once youāve identified the stressor āthemeā that occurs most often in your daily life, use this reflection map to create a little plan for your day or week by making a list or brainstorm bubble about all the different ways you can attack that Stress:
This reflection map has been absolutely key in my morning journal ritual. It helps me cleanse any funny feelings I wake up with into a guiding light for the rest of my day. Sometimes I fill a whole page revolving around the āanswerā, and sometimes I simply write one word.
Hot Tip: Save the reflection map I made to your phone for the next time youāre feeling stressed or journalling and need some guidance!
It was through following my reflection map that I realized that it was specifically old perfectionist habits that had crept back in. Once that was made clear, every morning I journal about how I can navigate these new waters without letting Stress steer my shipš¢.
For example, with my perfectionism Stressor, I often:
jot down all the worst things that could happen if I donāt do well on a test/assignment
keep telling myself ājust do the best you canā or āall you have to do today is show up and tryā
list all the people that matter more to me than a good grade and think of a memory of them that makes me smile. This helps remind me to put things into perspective of what truly matters in life.
A Final Note
š§ Stress is our brain saying: āI donāt think I can handle whatās happening.ā
The answer isnāt always to completely eliminate the stress; itās to increase your confidence that you can cope with it.
A little stress (especially āeustressā, but more on that another time!) is part of living a full, meaningful life. Loving others, pursuing a career, or just learning something new asks us to go out of our comfort zone, which is a little stressful! In fact, that acute stress is actually very helping for keeping us out of danger!
However, when stress lives in our bodies continuously, it means itās chronic, and our health often pays the price.
So if you feel like youāre never not stressed (like I used to), or are experiencing trauma, please ask a professional to help you. Living a life where stress is not your default emotion is possible.
If you have any questions, or youād like to explore this topic deeper, just hit reply or leave a comment and let me know! Iām genuinely curious, and I read every e-mailššš»!
Until the next time, I hope your summer days are full of juicy fruit, slow and sunny mornings, and fresh dips at your favourite swimming spots š!
