Hello friends and happy weekend! We talk a lot about limiting beliefs around here, and the story of The Elephant and the Rope is infamous in neuroplasticity circles. The origin is not quite clear, but it’s thought to have been dated back to ancient Indian Buddhist, Jain, and Hindu texts. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and thought I’d take it as a sign to share it in case you’ve never heard it before! Here is a version I got from a quick google search:
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not.
My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size of rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Summer weekends can be busy busy busy and don’t leave much alone time for reflection. Maybe while you’re chatting to your friends and family over the next few days, you can share the story above, and use this conversation starter to explore your answers together:
“What metaphorical rope do you think you’ve trapped yourself with?”
Maybe you’ve been holding yourself back in your career, your fitness, your relationships, or just your life in general, with a belief (or many!) that was true at one time (the baby elephant), but is no longer true anymore (the adult elephant).
Have fun exploring this alone or with friends and don’t beat yourself up over something that our brains have been wired to do! The “aha!” moment that’s possible from untying those old ropes (rewiring your brain) is soooooo freeing😌. If you come across any this weekend, please let me know! I love hearing about stories of change :) .
P.S. If you need some examples or guidance on how to identify your own limiting beliefs, read my post about it here:
what EXACTLY are limiting beliefs?
I talk about “limiting beliefs” a lot so I thought I would write a little post about them specifically!
I had to tell a friend (who I don’t hang out with often, she’s going through a hard time so she’s not on my speed dial necessarily but is always asking me to hang) that I can’t hang out with her all the time. It was the first drama long texting exchange I’ve ever had. But I keep doing social gatherings and not focusing on my own stuff like writing or exercising, the day slips away from me all the time, not to mention I waste a lot of time on social media. I felt bad taking it out on her granted she’s not having any luck in her life at the moment, but she was starting to make me feel guilty for making plans that didn’t include her in it. I can’t be her only friend, and we are adults, and if you can’t be flexible with me, sorry, not my problem. Definitely a tough situation but (and this will sound annoying and “gosh I’m so popular), but people want to hang out with me all the time but I’m tired of pouring myself and my time into others and activities instead of saying “no I’m going to take a break and work on X Y Z.” You’ve gone through something similar and sometimes I wish I didn’t live in the city so I wouldn’t be hit up all the time. 😂 So I’m working on setting boundaries - I don’t need to see friends that often, especially friends who aren’t super close and/or live near me, and yes, I’d rather hang out with my husband and dog on most occasions - so what? And juggling this social calendar with two jobs it’s just a lot. Sigh!