I had to tell a friend (who I don’t hang out with often, she’s going through a hard time so she’s not on my speed dial necessarily but is always asking me to hang) that I can’t hang out with her all the time. It was the first drama long texting exchange I’ve ever had. But I keep doing social gatherings and not focusing on my own stuff like writing or exercising, the day slips away from me all the time, not to mention I waste a lot of time on social media. I felt bad taking it out on her granted she’s not having any luck in her life at the moment, but she was starting to make me feel guilty for making plans that didn’t include her in it. I can’t be her only friend, and we are adults, and if you can’t be flexible with me, sorry, not my problem. Definitely a tough situation but (and this will sound annoying and “gosh I’m so popular), but people want to hang out with me all the time but I’m tired of pouring myself and my time into others and activities instead of saying “no I’m going to take a break and work on X Y Z.” You’ve gone through something similar and sometimes I wish I didn’t live in the city so I wouldn’t be hit up all the time. 😂 So I’m working on setting boundaries - I don’t need to see friends that often, especially friends who aren’t super close and/or live near me, and yes, I’d rather hang out with my husband and dog on most occasions - so what? And juggling this social calendar with two jobs it’s just a lot. Sigh!
Oh man I totally resonate!! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think of the quote I've said so often that "losers focus on winners and winners focus on winning." When you surround yourself with other winners (aka healthy people with their own healthy boundaries and pursuits in life) those people won't suffocate you and genuinely want what's best for you. They will cheer for you on the sidelines until it works for both of your schedules to hang! Unfortunately a lot of people use their friends as their therapists and it's not cool! I'm so proud of you for setting your own mental health boundaries fern❤️
I had to tell a friend (who I don’t hang out with often, she’s going through a hard time so she’s not on my speed dial necessarily but is always asking me to hang) that I can’t hang out with her all the time. It was the first drama long texting exchange I’ve ever had. But I keep doing social gatherings and not focusing on my own stuff like writing or exercising, the day slips away from me all the time, not to mention I waste a lot of time on social media. I felt bad taking it out on her granted she’s not having any luck in her life at the moment, but she was starting to make me feel guilty for making plans that didn’t include her in it. I can’t be her only friend, and we are adults, and if you can’t be flexible with me, sorry, not my problem. Definitely a tough situation but (and this will sound annoying and “gosh I’m so popular), but people want to hang out with me all the time but I’m tired of pouring myself and my time into others and activities instead of saying “no I’m going to take a break and work on X Y Z.” You’ve gone through something similar and sometimes I wish I didn’t live in the city so I wouldn’t be hit up all the time. 😂 So I’m working on setting boundaries - I don’t need to see friends that often, especially friends who aren’t super close and/or live near me, and yes, I’d rather hang out with my husband and dog on most occasions - so what? And juggling this social calendar with two jobs it’s just a lot. Sigh!
Oh man I totally resonate!! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think of the quote I've said so often that "losers focus on winners and winners focus on winning." When you surround yourself with other winners (aka healthy people with their own healthy boundaries and pursuits in life) those people won't suffocate you and genuinely want what's best for you. They will cheer for you on the sidelines until it works for both of your schedules to hang! Unfortunately a lot of people use their friends as their therapists and it's not cool! I'm so proud of you for setting your own mental health boundaries fern❤️