Hello friends and happy weekend! We talk a lot about limiting beliefs around here, and the story of The Elephant and the Rope is infamous in neuroplasticity circles. The origin is not quite clear, but itâs thought to have been dated back to ancient Indian Buddhist, Jain, and Hindu texts. Iâve been thinking about it a lot lately, and thought Iâd take it as a sign to share it in case youâve never heard it before! Here is a version I got from a quick google search:
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not.
My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
âWell,â he said, âwhen they are very young and much smaller we use the same size of rope to tie them and, at that age, itâs enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.â
My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldnât, they were stuck right where they were.
Summer weekends can be busy busy busy and donât leave much alone time for reflection. Maybe while youâre chatting to your friends and family over the next few days, you can share the story above, and use this conversation starter to explore your answers together:
âWhat metaphorical rope do you think youâve trapped yourself with?â
Maybe youâve been holding yourself back in your career, your fitness, your relationships, or just your life in general, with a belief (or many!) that was true at one time (the baby elephant), but is no longer true anymore (the adult elephant).
Have fun exploring this alone or with friends and donât beat yourself up over something that our brains have been wired to do! The âaha!â moment thatâs possible from untying those old ropes (rewiring your brain) is soooooo freeingđ. If you come across any this weekend, please let me know! I love hearing about stories of change :) .
P.S. If you need some examples or guidance on how to identify your own limiting beliefs, read my post about it here:
what EXACTLY are limiting beliefs?
I talk about âlimiting beliefsâ a lot so I thought I would write a little post about them specifically!
I had to tell a friend (who I donât hang out with often, sheâs going through a hard time so sheâs not on my speed dial necessarily but is always asking me to hang) that I canât hang out with her all the time. It was the first drama long texting exchange Iâve ever had. But I keep doing social gatherings and not focusing on my own stuff like writing or exercising, the day slips away from me all the time, not to mention I waste a lot of time on social media. I felt bad taking it out on her granted sheâs not having any luck in her life at the moment, but she was starting to make me feel guilty for making plans that didnât include her in it. I canât be her only friend, and we are adults, and if you canât be flexible with me, sorry, not my problem. Definitely a tough situation but (and this will sound annoying and âgosh Iâm so popular), but people want to hang out with me all the time but Iâm tired of pouring myself and my time into others and activities instead of saying âno Iâm going to take a break and work on X Y Z.â Youâve gone through something similar and sometimes I wish I didnât live in the city so I wouldnât be hit up all the time. đ So Iâm working on setting boundaries - I donât need to see friends that often, especially friends who arenât super close and/or live near me, and yes, Iâd rather hang out with my husband and dog on most occasions - so what? And juggling this social calendar with two jobs itâs just a lot. Sigh!