how do you let go? 🕊️
finding inner peace😌
Some people dedicate their whole lives to learning how to let go, so I’m not going to pretend that I have all the answers in one post!
Lately, to me, “letting go” has meant releasing my need to control a situation or outcome. It means loosening my tight fist, having compassion for my anxious mind, and being comforted that even if the worst care scenario happens, I can survive it❤️🙏🏻.
Sometimes, if it’s regarding a loss, it means trusting that wounds heal in time, and not beating myself up in the process by thinking there’s a “right way” or “appropriate amount of time” to grieve.
Other times, if it’s knowing that when someone doesn’t like me, it means having enough self-love to not waste my time trying to change someone’s opinion, or letting them “live rent-free” in my mind by ruminating about it.
Humans love to label, find order, organize, and plan etc., which is very helpful for our survival! But as we talked about a few weeks ago, there are some things that are out of our control that we will drive ourselves crazy by having a limiting belief that they are, such as: the weather, losing someone (physically or emotionally), other people’s actions, other people’s opinions, aging, the news, the past, etc. Even though I don’t belong to a single religion, I often think of the beginning of the “serenity prayer” when I find myself in a spiral:
I write this post as someone who is very much in the middle of learning how to let go! It’s a daily journey, and it’s okay if that daily journey is a life-long one.
Sometimes my “monkey mind” is helpful and brilliant in planning the best next life adventure—and sometimes, it needs to take a hike! For example, every morning when I meditate, I am aware of my attachment to how I think it should be going, when meditating is all about releasing attachments.
Speaking of meditating (as it’s proven to be very helpful for many people in the practice of “letting go”), if anyone has a Skillshare account, I loved Dandan Liu’s short class on the foundations of meditating: “Meditation 101: Spark Joy, Peace, and Creativity in Your Daily Life”.
Although I have been meditating since I was a kid, in the past I have been confused and swayed by “gurus” who think their way is the only way to meditate. I love Dandan’s very simple and non-judgmental way of introducing meditation, and think it’s the best I’ve found so far! Here are some slides from her class:
In fact, some people believe the root of Buddhism in general is “letting go”! So, as we’ve already seen via the Serenity Prayer and practice of meditating, it’s really interesting seeing how different spiritual practices exercise this theme and have different ways to reach the same outcome. Therefore, if none of the things I’ve suggested so far resonate with you, I would recommend checking out even more different spiritual practices or philosophies like Stoicism, for example.
Learning about religions or philosophies that are foreign to you doesn’t mean you have to follow one, or that you’re betraying your own, so I don’t think there’s any harm in expanding your knowledge! I will also be sharing more things I learn in bite-sized pieces (not as long as this post!) in the future😚.
I will leave you with one more tool that I already mentioned earlier: self-love. Yes, I’m about to get really corny, brace yourselves🌈! This element has been a game changer for me regarding inner peace and letting things go. However, it’s kind of funny how often I still forget I have this power when things get wild, so I’m writing this for you as much as I’m writing it to remind myself🥰. If you can figure out how to truly give yourself love, you will feel confident, protected, and calm. Just like how I imagine this cat is feeling🥹:
Here are some questions to help determine whether you are being loving to yourself:
Would you speak the way you’re speaking to yourself to your best friend? Your child? Your parent? Your aunt or uncle? Your grandparent? Your pet?
Would you allow someone else to treat your loved ones the way someone is treating you?
What would the person who loves/loved you most say to you?
What advice would you give the person you love most if they were in your situation?
If your loved one made a mistake, would you make them feel as guilty/upset/angry as you’re making yourself feel right now?
Love is a circle. The more we are loving, kind, and forgiving to ourselves → the more we will be that way to others → the more the world will find ways to be that way back to us → the more we will want to continue to be loving, kind, and forgiving → and on and on to ∞ !
With the world feeling so out of control, self-love is something we can learn how to control, and the good from it will affect those around you in the best way😍! Then, we can all help each other in making the days as bright as we can during these dark times💞.
Much LOVE and thank you as always for reading, friends💋!
xo kaja
P.S…..
Let it go let it go let the good times roll..