unpopular opinionđ: i actually love new year's resolutionsđ!
+ the perfect book for overachievers
Happy first chapter of 2026â¨, my friends and familyđ¤!
And if you love the magical world of numerology, happy start to Year 1 of a 9-Year cycle as wellđ!
How do you like to treat the month of January? Are you indifferent? Do you like it? Or do you prefer to just get on with itđ?
If youâre so kindly curious about my personal excitement and âmethodâ to this time of year, here it is:
I like to treat this time from the winter solstice (read my latest post about it HERE), through the Gregorian (aka Christian) âNew Yearâ of January 1st, and past a full moon to the second full moon after the winter solstice- aka the Lunar New Year, as a âsoft openingâ rather than a strict start date of resolutions.
Why? If youâre like me, youâve been setting intentions and habits all year, so the beginning of the year is more like a season of celebration for reflection and self-improvement!
The soft-opening approach to New Yearâs resolutions is also a chance to marinate in daydreamsâŚof who youâd like to beâŚwhat opportunities may pop up in the coming yearâŚetc.!
The soft-opening approach is slow and kindâŚnot an intense rush of goal-setting.
So often, the winter âbreakâ right before January 1st is chaotic and full of time with loved onesânot the prolonged periods of solitude and introspection needed to actually navigate where in your life youâd like to draw your attention to.
Btw, if youâd like some help with that navigation, I recommend watching THIS 30min YouTube video by Ali Abdaal where he shows you an effective and condensed 4-Hour version of the infamous âThink Weekâ.
However, everything Iâve been consuming lately has people talking about how New Yearâs resolutions are âterribleâ, ânever workâ, and how everyone should just start with one tiny habit. This totally bums me out every time I hear itđ .
I think that everyone should listen to what works for them. You wonât know what works for you until you try! Who knows, maybe youâre actually one of the people who can keep their resolutions!
And while I totally agree and promote building small, consistent habits over time is better than overcommitting oneself, one tiny standalone habit is not exciting enough to make me want to commit to itđâŚ
Let me explain: I am someone who needs to be motivated by a BIG overarching goal (ex. Become the healthiest version of myself I can be! Become fluent in French!) which can then be broken up into tiny, achievable, beginner-friendly habits (ex. Go for a morning walk 3x/week! Spend 15min on Duolingo every day!). Otherwise I donât remember why Iâm doing the tiny habit in the first placeđ.
Then, I also go against all the advice out there to just focus on one tiny habit goal by trying to do as many of the tiny habits as I can. (Obviously donât listen to me if you know this doesnât work for you!) I like to do as many of tiny habits as I can because I treat it like an experiment. In other words: I throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Then I change or eliminate what doesnât.
I find this experiment gives me momentum and confidence! Instead of focusing on what habits didnât work out, I look at what I was able to stick to or modify, and actually allow myself to feel proud about it!
Many people waste their happiness away by chasing the next thing. Thinking theyâre not doing enough. Thinking theyâre behind. Comparing themselves to others. When really, most of us would benefit from giving ourselves a genuine âpat on the backâ for even trying in the first place.
đ§ It sounds almost too small to even bother, but training your brain to feel dopamine for trying daily (and even failing!), rather than a big epic result, is neuroplasticity in actionâŚand often leads to the big epic result much quicker!
I can speak from personal experience. Every night before I go to sleep, I think of 3 things Iâm proud of myself for that day (or 3 âwinsâ). They could be as simple as:
I didnât hit snooze!
I meditated for 5min before work!
I brought my coffee cup home to recycle rather than throw in the trash!
I gave a genuine compliment to a stranger even though it could have been embarrassing!
I remembered to take a breath when I noticed I was getting overwhelmed!
I ate more vegetables than usual today!
I moved from 5lb to 10lb weights at the gym!
Iâm getting better at teaching my body how to go to bed early!
Iâve been doing this routine almost every day since November, and itâs crazy how fast my habits have been stacking! By being my own cheerleader, Iâve found that itâs almost like I tricked my brain into thinking small wins are big wins, which has increased my confidence to be bolder with my habits. Iâm now consistently waking up at 6am, working out, and eating better- who would have thought it really does pay off to be kind to your mind!
Okay okay, I canât take the credit for this last exercise! I modified it from this awesome book called âThe Gap and The Gain: The High Achieversâ Guide To Happiness, Confidence, And Successâ by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy which I listened to for free on Libbyđ¤đ.
I believe The Gap and The Gain is one of the best books you could read if you get overwhelmed by New Yearâs resolutions or always find youâre not able to achieve the ones you set out for yourself.
If youâd like to try the simple, yet effective, exercise of thinking of 3 things youâre proud of from the day, here are some tips that might help you remember to actually do it (which is honestly half the battle of goal-setting):
Put a note on to your bedside table or phone charger so youâll see it before you go to sleep.
Set a (gentle!) alarm on your phone close to your usual bedtime (if you have an iPhone, I love the âBirdsongâ alarmđď¸đĽ°!) or create an Event in your phone to reoccur everyday with an Alert that will give you a notification at a particular time.
Have an accountability buddy- someone who would be down to try this too! You can text each other a single emoji (ex. đ, đ, â , etc.) right before you go to bed which is code for âGoodnight! Iâm listing my 3 things to myself!â. You donât have to actually say what the wins are- in fact, Iâd probably recommend that you donât. Knowing what each otherâs wins are will naturally lead you comparison, which is the complete opposite of what we want. Focus on your path, not anyone elseâs.
Maybe donât even wait until youâre about to go to bed- habit stack it to another part of your evening routine: brushing your teeth, washing your face, etc.
Thank you so much for reading!!! As we walk into this new year together, I would like this to be your gentle reminder that itâs not selfish to listen to your body and prioritize what it needs; give yourself permission to take care of yourself (however that looks) and celebrate YOU while you do sođ¤! When we give that love to ourselves, it becomes way easier to then give it to othersđĽ°.
