sweet dreams 🍭

and a mind game for the S.A.D. days

As winter makes daylight shorter and colds last longer, I dream of warmer nights…I am full on counting down the days to my first trip to the Philippines (/Asia in general!!) this January where I am SO excited for the heat to melt away the complaining that keeps popping up and annoying me in my own head lol.

The majority of my last two winters spent in sunshine were also spent away from the LOML, so I’m happy to say that won’t be the case this time😍! Even though I was so happy to be soaking up vitamin D, it was hard to be away from him…

A game I like to play with my mind during delicate times (winter has meant Seasonal Affective Disorder to me in the past) is thinking of what I currently have that a younger version of myself would LOVE. For example: You can go to the store by yourself? Cool! You can have ice cream for breakfast if you wanted? No way! You live in an apartment with your BOYFRIEND? Omg jealous!

This exercise can be applied to so many dreams that “little me” couldn’t wait to experience😂. It can even be a more recent version of yourself! Think about how grateful you are for your health once you’ve recovered from a stomach flu or accident, and then how quickly that gratitude just slips away after it becomes normal again. Or how much you are looking forward to a trip, only to spend the whole plane ride complaining (when you are literally FLYING through the air!). It happens with ALL of us, no judgement here. Gratitude practices aren’t easy, and this trick doesn’t always work. Sometimes you just need to rant or get the emotions out of your body in a healthy way.

I usually get out my emotions through writing or acting! So instead of only daydreaming about the future in the Philippines, today I’m sharing a poem I wrote in the past, when I was longing for what I currently have in the present:

tonight, borders
and lakes away,
i want
to have a sleep
made of dulce de leche

of warm vanilla cake
of ice cream
on a walk,
and 98%
dark chocolate ganache

so i 
study my cool pillow
scooping up
my soft cheek,
just like 
your kind hand
after a hard week

and i
collect a sheet corner
to brush my lips…
experimenting
the echo
of your hot kiss

then i
fold my eyelids 
into velvety darkness,
scrolling 
my memory feed

prowling for

the one to nestle into

to give me
sweet dreams

Thanks as always for reading! And if you got this far…I hope you can have fun today thinking about all the ways your younger self thinks you are so cool right now🤩!